What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

What is the scariest thing that ever happened in your life?

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Why do we let ugly men exist?

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

What are some dirty secrets of Indian (Bollywood, etc.) actors and actresses?

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

TEXT:

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Can people who have never met you tell if you are a covert narcissist?

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Was Jimmy Carter a good President of the United States?

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Did Muhammad Ali ask Dundee to cut his gloves off before Eddie Futch stopped the fight in Thrilla in Manila?

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

Why is it so hard to date nowadays?

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Make Nazis afraid again!

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Why does cocaine makes me want to dress up and get fuck

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

What are the possible reasons for people feeling depressed after the holiday season? Why does being alone exacerbate these feelings?

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

What is a common thought that keeps people up at night? Why do some people experience this?

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!